


It's Not Idiopathic Neuropathy But It Runs in the Family

by Nocticola



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e13 Spiral, Episode: s02e12 Sins of the Fathers, Episode: s03e04 Over My Head, Episode: s04e10 The Trouble With Troubles, Gaslighting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Missing Scene, Post-Troubles (Haven)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-03-25 12:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13834398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Nathan talks to his biological father





	1. 1x13 Spiral

**Author's Note:**

> Max: "The family that was stolen from me."
> 
> Nathan: "Why would one more [secret] surprise me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic art: https://demisexualnathanvuornos.tumblr.com/post/177389751728/its-not-idiopathic-neuropathy-but-it-runs-in-the

Nathan storms out of the Chief's office, out of the whole station. Maybe Audrey wants to stay, listen to explanations or excuses or whatever, but he doesn't want to. Not now. He just gets into the Bronco, not really knowing where he's going, except out of here. Away from the lies and secrets. He's so fucking tired of secrets.

Eventually his driving gets him to the cliffs where he can see the hill where he broke his arm as a kid. The bench where he told Audrey about the Troubles. He's always liked that place. It's peaceful, yet doesn't let him hide. 

He doesn't really know what to do with himself, now. Should he look through his memories, try to find the pieces that don't fit (how *he* doesn't fit)? How could he not know he's adopted? How could everyone lie to him for so fucking long? 

He's not sure how long he's been there when he hears steps. He hopes for Audrey, but when he looks up, he sees Max Hansen. Before he really knows it, he's standing up, his gun at the ready pointing at Max. His biological father. 

Max grins in that way Nathan already hates, his hands in the air. Nathan's a cop. He can read between the lines. Max is a murderer. He doesn't remember Max. He remembers nightmares he was told weren't real but which *felt* real. He can remember his mother, crying and in pain, being helpless to help her. It didn't make sense before. Now it does. He knows exactly who Max Hansen is. 

"Don't come any closer!" 

"You and your mother always liked this place. Also, you're really handy with that gun, son." 

Nathan hates that he sees more twisted pride on Max's face than he's seen in Garland's face in years. "I'm not your son. Don't call me that." 

"Our Trouble says different. DNA, biology..." 

"You need more than that to be a family. I know about you. What you've done."

For the first time Nathan sees some hesitancy in Max's face. "But we were a family, when you were little. You remember that?" 

Nathan doesn't. Not really, not clearly. He hasn't had time to really try to understand how his new timeline works. How long was a Hansen? When did he become Wuornos? He doesn't remember *not* being a Wuornos. He should remember a change like that. 

Max ends up filling Nathan's silence, "Garland stole you from me. First your mother, then you. He had me locked up so he could have her. I was framed."

Nathan scoffs, "You're lying. I've read your file. I know the case. You killed those people. Everyone knows that."

"I'm not saying Garland did a lousy job. He can be very good at fixing evidence. He never got over your mother choosing me when we all met in college. He was always angry you weren't really his. He had to get me out of the way, to steal you, my family, from me."

Nathan knows not to believe him. Not about his mother. His Mom was happy with the Chief. Before. He's not sure about anything else but he remembers that.

The rest, he doesn't know what to think about. He clearly has pieces missing in his memory. He's not sure he trusts the Chief right now. Maybe he did frame Max. He was a kid, he has no way of knowing. Like most rookie cops, he read that file. The most high profile non-Troubles related case in Haven, his Dad the big hero, of course he read it. Over and over again. Tried to live up to it. It seemed legit. But maybe that was the only thing they could pin on Max. In some ways, it doesn't matter. 

"None of that means anything, as far as we're concerned. I'm not your son." 

Max turns angry and it's so very familiar. "You're mine. That fucking Wuornos can't change that. You can't deny our Trouble. Your friends knew that." Max ran to Nathan as he was ranting, grabbed his gun-hand's wrist and squeezed it. Neither can of course feel it. 

There's a part of Nathan that wants to freeze, wait it out. But he's not a little boy anymore. He's a cop. He punches Max with his free hand and the momentum lets him slip away. He points his gun at Max again. 

He has so many unanswered questions. But he's not gonna get them today. Maybe not ever.

"I'm not your son. Maybe I'm not really Garland's, but I'm definitely not *yours*. Don't ever come near me again."

He leaves Max behind and drives his Bronco around, trying to come to terms with it all.

When he gets the call about the giant crack that swallowed and killed Max, he's not sure he has any emotions left to deal with it. But he has a job to do, so that's what does. All he knows how to do.


	2. 2x12 Sins of the Fathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max Hansen's ghost also makes an appearance during 2x12 Sins of the Fathers.

_”You wasted your time.”_ Nathan feels so stupid, expecting his father to be different dead than he was alive. Of course he still can’t do anything right according to Garland. ”I need to go help Audrey.” Nathan leaves is father behind once again. Nothing has changed between them. It’s so frustrating and Nathan makes his way to the Bronco full of annoyance and anger and worry. 

And once again, he arrives at his car to find someone there he really didn’t want to see. Max Hansen. Unlike during the first time, he knows exactly who he is, and what he wants. Although that wasn’t the last time he saw him. The last time was not long before he died, accidentally murdered by the Chief. He still doesn’t want to talk to Max. No matter how many answers he could give Nathan. 

”Get away from my car,” he tells Max from a good distance. Even though Max is a see through ghost, he leans on Nathan’s car like it was his. 

”You know, I knew Lyman Grood. You really do know how to take care of your car,” Max smirks. 

Nathan doesn’t say anything. He has no interest getting into small talk with his murderous biological father. But Max is blocking (as much as a ghost can block anything) the driver’s side door. Nathan is hoping to just wait him out. Even a ghost must get bored. 

“There were a lot of things I didn’t have the time to tell you about, Nathan.” 

”Yeah, well, I don’t care.” Nathan does his best to keep his face blank. He tries to tap down all the questions he has that are trying to make their way to the surface. Since finding out that he has a biological father, he’s managed to fill up a few holes. He found his adoption papers, has access to his medical records. He still doesn’t quite remember, which makes him glad. (Although he still doesn’t know how his mother ended up with Max. Why she stayed. He doesn't want to know.) He’s more curious about how Max could have that maze tattoo (the same one that would burn his own arm now in its newness, if he could feel anything), while palling around with the Rev. How can you accept and hate your Troubledness that much simultaneously? 

Max shakes his head, smiling like they are old friends sharing what’s new in their lives, “That Garland. He was always a piece of work.” 

”That ‘piece of work’ ended up killing you. Because of me. I gotta give him that. I bet you never killed anyone for me.“ Nathan’s not sure who he most wants to hurt with his words, Max (the abusive murderer), Garland (the neglectful father who accidentally killed Max), or himself (both his fathers were capable of killing, what does that say about him?). No matter who the target was, Max at least takes the hit and the already familiar anger raises to the surface. Nathan's glad Max is only a ghost who needs the living to cause any physical harm. 

But physical is not the only way a person can be hurt. Max seems to change tactic on the fly.

”I heard you two talking. Are you really in love with her?” 

Nathan's own anger and frustration bubbles back to the surface. ”For fuck’s sake. You honestly think I’m going to talk to you about this?”

”Do you have any idea *what* she is?” 

Nathan’s gotten used to being called a thing, people referring to ‘his kind’, like he’s some type of separate, lesser species. But it makes his blood boil to hear Audrey referred to like that. She deserves so much better than that. 

”I know *who* she is.” Nathan tells that as forcefully to Max as he told to Audrey just a few days ago. 

”Do you know what she’s meant to do? Because I do. And, son, that story never has a happy ending. Trust me. You might think you know this ‘Audrey’ persona, but I knew Lucy Ripley. And those are just some of the names she’s had over the years.” 

Nathan lets out a humorless laugh. “I can’t fucking believe this. All my resurrected fathers want to do is talk about my damn love life.” 

”You do not understand the whole situation, Nathan.” 

No matter how different his fathers claim to be from each other, they sure sound a lot alike about this.

”OK, so tell me. Tell me what is going on. What is Audrey meant to do?” Nathan decides to humor Max. Maybe he is actually willing to talk about what the hell is going on in Haven. 

They are interrupted by Nathan’s phone. Audrey is calling him, something about Duke abandoning her (of fucking course, Nathan thinks. Can’t even Duke him to drive Audrey around). 

”Audrey needs me. Are you going to tell me something or not? Because I have a case and a Trouble to solve,” Nathan looks at Max, guarded yet expectant. 

Max has a calculating look on his face. Before he says anything, he pushes himself off Nathan’s car (again, without needing to, since he’s a ghost) and walks up to Nathan. 

”Nah. I’m sure you’ll have this covered.” Max moves to touch Nathan’s shoulder but instead Nathan moves through him to the Bronco. 

”Fine. Be like that. Hope you go back to hell soon,” Nathan tells Max over his shoulder. 

Nathan doesn’t look back as he climbs into the Bronco, but before he drives off, he doesn’t miss the look of fucked up pride on Max’s face again. 

As Nathan drives to Audrey, everything his fathers told him runs through his head. He’s not going to tell Audrey that he saw Max. He’s also not quite ready to tell her about the Chief’s warning, or whatever it was. They can talk about all that during dinner. Or breakfast.


	3. 3x4 Over My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan: I know it [the tattoo] is worn by the Troubled. I know my father had one.  
> Jordan: Garland Wuornos did not have a tattoo.  
> Nathan::Chief wasn't my biological father. A guy named Max Hansen was.-  
> Jordan: Wow, Max. We didn't know that.  
> Nathan: You knew him?  
> Jordan: Before my time.

Nathan never thought he'd have to name drop is biological father to get ahead. He's spent the past months trying to ignore the truth of his paternity. Garland wasn't always a good father, but he was his, and Nathan is a Wuornos. 

And yet... he got this tattoo, in the same place as Max, trying to join the same organization Max was a part of. Using Max for credibility feels awful, but it's not like he feels good about any of this.

He feels so fake, talking with Jordan like this. Audrey was right, he doesn't know what exactly he is getting involved in but he knows he has to do it. They have information that he needs. 

And as he takes hold of Jordan's hand, feeling none of the pain Jordan just described, he thinks that at least there's one benefit to being biologically Hansen.


	4. After Alt!Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alt!Haven aftermath in 4x10 The Troubles with the Troubles
> 
> Fic art https://demisexualnathanvuornos.tumblr.com/post/180414257638/its-not-idiopathic-neuropathy-but-it-runs-in-the

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nathan: Hey. Are you OK?  
> Audrey: Oh.  
> Nathan: What happened?  
> Audrey: William. We have to kill him.

Waking up to find Audrey dressed in a weird shirt and jeans when he knows she went to sleep in her pajamas really doesn't help Nathan's fears. The fact that Audrey is acting so frantic and going with killing as the option to deal with William doesn't help matters. Is Nathan against killing William? Of course not, but he still worries that Audrey isn't telling him everything. 

Audrey gets off the bed super fast and starts looking for new clothing before Nathan is really even awake. He shakes his head and finds his boxers before going to Audrey. He holds her shoulders and gets her to pause and look at him.

"Audrey, babe, calm down. What is it?" 

Suddenly, Audrey determination seems to deflate, she hugs him and holds onto Nathan tightly. Nathan strokes her hair to help her calm down.

"Shh, it's OK. Tell me what happened?"

Audrey takes a deep breath, "Susie died and Cliff wished for a different Haven. A Trouble-free one. Haven as its supposed to be."

Nathan's not sure how to react to that. He's been so connected to the Troubles since he was young that he can't quite imagine Haven without them. "Haven's always been special. The Troubles belong here." 

Audrey freezes before she pulls back and looks at Nathan with tears in her eyes, "You were Doctor Nathan Hansen. You were happy and whole and..." Audrey's voice trails off. 

Nathan's body freezes at the name. He was a Hansen? He wasn't--? What does that mean? 

Audrey notices his distress and holds onto his head, stroking his face, "You were good, and kind and a cute dork," Audrey smiles but Nathan still gets the vibe that she's not telling him everything. "I don't know if Max was bad without the Troubles, but he didn't ruin you there. He could never ruin you."

Nathan holds onto Audrey's hand on his face and he smiles a little. He doesn't really know what to say. He still has so many gaps in his early childhood memories. He decides to go with, "I was a doctor?"

Audrey smiles before kissing him, "A very cute and good one." 

Nathan smiles as he touches Audrey's forehead with his own, taking strength from her, giving some back. 

"Let's get ready. I'll call the hospital, find out whether Susie has died yet," he tells her. He feels a dread at the pit of his stomach, but he's not quite sure what it's about. 

"OK," Audrey lets go of him and goes to call Duke. 

As Nathan waits for the hospital to answer, he takes a moment to stare at his hand, often quite useless in his Troubled state. Dr. Hansen. What might have been.


	5. Nathan's Own Fatherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan thinks about being a father to James

"C'mon, James, walk to Daddy!" Nathan sits on the floor, holding his arms out to James. He is mostly held up by his mother but he also has a look of determination on his face that Nathan has seen so many times on his mother's face. He's ready.

James takes a step, then another and one more before he reaches his father. Paige never really lets go off him, and Nathan's arms were always ready to catch him but it is still a big new step for the whole family and they all celebrate. 

Nathan holds on to James as he clings to his neck and it's one of those moments that Nathan can't help but think about his own parents, about his fathers. 

Was Max ever proud of him like this? Did he ever hug him and encourage him to walk? Or was all of it violence and neglect? 

He has a better idea about Garland. There weren't many hugs in the Wuornos household, not after his mother died. Garland was so busy training him for his future, he rarely thought about what Nathan needed in the present. But there were times when he felt loved. When his mother was alive, and a few times afterwards. 

But he never wants James have to go through this, wondering if he was loved. James has no more destiny to fulfill, none of them do. 

"I'm so proud of you, James. You did a good job! Wanna walk to Mommy?" 

"Come here, James!" Paige says with a big smile on her face and Nathan helps James turn and return the smile. 

James' steps are more confident now and Nathan is sure he'll be walking on his own soon. As it's Paige's turn to cuddle their little walker, there's another father Nathan can't help thinking about, Paul Cogan. 

Paul did a good job, the first time around. Sometimes Nathan worries that he can't do the same. But Nathan is almost glad of that fear. It reminds him to always remember to do what's right for James.

He will take the failures and successes of the men he's influenced by and he will do his best to find the right actions to take with James. Because James deserves it. We always want our children to get a better life than we did. Nathan will make sure James gets that.


End file.
